Beyond the Table: Finding Gratitude for the Things We've Lost and Had to Let Go Of
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Thanksgiving is a time for reflection, for family, and for gathering around tables filled with love and laughter. But for many of us, that picture-perfect scene is painted with both joy and a touch of pain—a reminder of what has changed, of who or what is no longer here. And in this season, I’ve come to learn that gratitude sometimes means looking at the things we’ve lost or let go of with open hands and finding peace in that release.
For those of us who’ve walked through divorce or separation or suffered the loss of a loved one, the holidays can look different. Suddenly, the traditions you knew so well are rearranged, redefined, and sometimes reshaped by painful memories. When I went through my own divorce years ago, I had to adjust to sharing my children’s holidays with new families, including those they married into. I never imagined Thanksgiving without them, and yet there are years when that reality is part of the holiday.
So, what do we do with that pain that surfaces?
Over the years, I’ve realized I have a choice: to cling to what I can’t change or to place it gently in God’s hands, like putting precious, heavy things into a treasure box I keep for what’s beyond my understanding. It’s something I’ve talked about in my Heart Talk Podcast: The Treasure Box—that treasure box holds the hurts, the unanswered questions, the memories I can’t change. And when I leave those things there, in God’s care, I find that my heart is lighter, more able to experience the joy and freedom He wants for me, even during the holidays.
This practice of letting go (and trust me, it's a continual discipline I have to apply in my life regularly) is a choice to live unveiled, open to God’s grace and healing in real-time.
The beauty of our faith is that Jesus settled every hurt and heartache on the cross.
When He tore the veil, He gave us direct access to His presence, His comfort, His assurance that we don’t have to walk with the weight of what we can’t control. For me, this changes everything—especially during the holidays.
Yes, there will be holidays without my kids or years when the Thanksgiving table looks different. And yes, there’s a sting there. But that sting doesn’t have to steal my gratitude or joy because God is still good, still with me, still writing this story. I can let go of what I don’t understand and rest in the freedom He offers, thankful for the moments I have, whether the table is full or not.
This Thanksgiving, as I let go of the things I can’t change, I’m also filled with gratitude for the blessings right in front of me. I’m thankful that this year, our table will be full with all of my kids—a gathering I’m treasuring and soaking up with my wonderful husband by my side. His presence has been such a gift, a reminder of God’s ability to bring new love and joy into my life even through past heartaches. And whether the table is full or not in the years to come, I know that God’s goodness fills every empty space with His grace and presence.
Psalm 126:5-6 encourages us with this truth: "Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest."
Even the hardest seasons can create a harvest of gratitude, of joy that only God can bring. So, in our own way, we each hold onto that hope, trusting Him to transform our losses into new beginnings.
Isaiah 43:18-19 (NLT): “But forget all that— it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.”
So, here’s an invitation for you:
What are the things you need to let go of this Thanksgiving? Are there hurts, memories, or expectations weighing you down, keeping you from fully enjoying the moment?
Consider placing these in your own treasure box with God, trusting Him to hold what you cannot.
As you do, here are a few prompts to help guide your heart in the process:
What is something in your life that you’ve had to let go of, and how can you see God’s hand in that process?
Are there family traditions or holiday expectations that need to be released to God this year?
How might you embrace gratitude for both the joy that's in front of you and the peace of letting go of what’s behind?
This Thanksgiving, it is my prayer that we all find gratitude in the things we’ve held close, as well as in the things we’ve released, trusting that God fills every place we make for Him with new joy, new grace, and a love that never leaves us.
Living in the gratitude of God's goodness beyond the table,
Tracee Padilla